Consider the Baby Very Clean

This weekend, we showered a baby! Blonde Witch is scheduled to bring a wee babe into this world in the spring, so Black Witch and Red Witch (that’s me) of The Cauldron ** put on a little shindig this weekend. BW is a genius with design and decor, so she handled all the hard stuff (cleaning, decorating, favors, theme), and I, naturally, commandeered the kit[s]chen. BW took more thorough and just generally prettier pics than mine, so I will update after she recovers and posts them. But…

The menu!

Pimento cheese finger sandwiches (fingers optional)*

Li’l baby barbecue sandwiches on sweet Hawaiian rolls*

Tomatillo Guacamole

Pita chips

Tortilla chips


Crudite comprising radishes, carrots, cucumbers, and celery

Pumpkin spice dip with apple wedges*

Spinach artichoke dip*


Pastel dinner mints (you know the ones)

Brie with raspberry jam and water crackers

Color-coordinated punch*

Sex brownies*

Decaf coffee

Coca-cola, Sprite, Ginger Ale

Sweet and unsweetened iced tea

And the most luscious lemon cake in the history of all cakes ever in the world. Let me tell you about this cake. First, I don’t eat citrus cake. Second, bakery cakes are usually too sweet with either greasy shortening-based frosting or grainy with sugary ick ick frosting. This cake is light as air with a slightly lemony mousse filling and covered in a fluff of buttercream that is so delicately sweet you will weep, look to see if anyone is watching, and lick your plate clean. You will also run your finger along the cake board each time you pass it in the evening and lick the delectable concoction from your index finger. It is heavenly, and I had three hunks of it, and I don’t eat lemon cake. I’m actually thinking about going back over in my housecoat and eating some right now, even though I purposely left all of it at BW’s house so that I would not eat cake for breakfast, and I’m halfway hoping they ate it all so that I won’t touch it. Three hunks of cake, people.

And they reproduced in frosting the christening gown from the invitation, and added a quote of our choice. Seriously. These peeps can rock cake.

So, hats off to BW for hostessing and decorating and coordinating in general while I was busy pulling my hair out at work, forgetting to polish my silver for the occasion, and leaving the half and half and sugar for the coffee at home and forgetting that most non-cauldron women drink Diet Coke and don’t eat.  Furthermore, love and best wishes to Blonde Witch and the new little witchlet. And if you’re in town, come over for crudites. I can feed a family of rabbits for six weeks on what’s left. I’m pretty sure the sex brownies are spoken for.

**Concerned friends and family — We do not condone or practice putting spells on others. We are simply three girls who prefer Halloween and Fall to Pastels and Springtime, and late night to afternoon. We wear a lot of black and own more Halloween decor than Christmas swag. We light lots of candles and cackle, but we have no eye of wing and frog of newt or whatever, unless you decide to start making a big deal about it. Then, maybe all bets are off. <|; ) Then again, the only cursing we engage in usually involves traffic or falls down stairways, and then it’s just choice expletives, not voodoo dolls. Usually.

*These recipes and/or instructions will be posted in the coming days/weeks as life returns to abnormal in my kitschen.

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