Search Q&A

From time to time I check into Google Analytics to see how many people stumble across this blog. I don’t ever expect to be some internet sensation, but it’s fun to see, and I love seeing that someone in New Zealand checks in from time to time.

I’ve never dug into the searches that led people here until today. The top searches always show up – kitschenbitsch, green smoothie, purple cake, took my top off (not surprising), kale polenta, how to keep sandwiches from drying out.

Today I dug in, and I’m laughing so hard I can barely type. I will attempt to address the questions these people have raised.

At how many degrees should I cook my weed cup cake?

I’m so sorry to disappoint you. I have never cooked with weed and have no plans to start.  I assume you are NOT referring to dandelion greens.

Beauticontrol + booking spas + what to do when you leave a bad voicemail

I’ve been doing Beauticontrol for about a month and have sent out incorrect spa invitations and forgotten my calculator at all my spas, so I’m probably not the best person to ask. I’d call back and ask if you can have a do-over, or maybe hide in the basement.

Cupcake philosophy

I’m so glad others have one, too. Should we start a band by this name? (And I actually spoke of this on my Purple Cake entry. Awesome! You were probably looking for an actual blog named that or something though, so I bet I still didn’t get the job done.)

Do pigs eat oversized okra?

Does a bear sh– never mind. I grew up on a farm, and I still honestly have no idea. My instinct tells me yes, as they seem to eat damn near anything. Speaking of instinct….

Eah, my gut told me gypsy but I went against my gut. Lessons learnes.

As a teacher, I am delighted you had a learning experience. You see your gypsy — (this is for you, Joey). *zing!*

Doctors taking temperature in ass

Sounds like you learned an important lesson, too.

Teeni bitsch

You’re definitely on the wrong site. Sorry. I’m a zaftig bitsch with my own pretend full-figured women’s metal band, ZAFTIG.

80sladies

You thought I was kidding, didn't you? We truly want to open for Fat Benatar one day.

Took off skirt teacher

You’re looking for a different kind of teacher. Promise.

What is bitsch?

I made it up. I like to think it means intelligent, snarky, and the Worst Feminist Ever (trademark pending, and explanatory blog to follow). Think “bitch” with a healthy dose of “kitsch.”

Green smoothie recipe to combat vertigo?

Oh my. If you find it, please let me know. I damn near fell out in a meeting last week – not kidding.

I think I should make this a regular installment. That was fun.

Oh, and for those of you who are curious, I average about ten visits per day unless a Very Important Site like CHG or CK links me, and then my traffic hits 200 in an afternoon. That’s like the day after Thanksgiving in the blogging world.

But I’m just here to have a good time, and I hope anyone who falls in this l’il hole does as well.

2 Responses

  1. Love it. I call this pastime “Keyword Gawking” and it sure is an easy way to vaporize hours of time, isn’t it? A few of the kookiest ones I’ve had:

    * unethical vegetarian restaurant
    * unpalatable cooking
    * how to cook methadone
    * a pain in the ass recipe

    Sometimes it makes me wonder what the heck kind of a blog I’m really writing!!

    Dan
    Casual Kitchen

  2. TheBitsch says:

    Nice! Nothing helps the self-esteem like finding that people are directed to you by “unpalatable cooking,” though I have to say “how to cook methadone” is the winner out of your group. :-D

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