Post-Thanksgiving Recap

10:00 a.m. Thursday: KitschenBitsch awakens and tries to decide how late she can stay in bed.

10:15 a.m.: KB gets text from her mother. Mom worked till 2 a.m. Dinner (downhomespeak for “lunch”) has been pushed until after 2.

10:30 a.m.: KB drinks coffee, mixes souffle, puts souffle in oven.

11:00 a.m.: KB puts other dishes in oven.

11:15 a.m.: KB drinks more coffee, finally becomes human.

11:30 a.m.: KB realizes she can’t last till 2 without breakfast and eats half bowl of cereal.

12:00 p.m.: KB  can’t find her insulated casserole carriers.

12:15 p.m.: KB finds one carrier, grumbles.

12:30 p.m.: KB and Mom realize neither of them made just a plain green vegetable. KB picks up two cans of green beans from the cabinet, noting that while they are both good for many months to come, the expiration dates are far apart. (Note for those of you who don’t pick up on foreshadowing:  This will be funny later.)

12:45 p.m.: KB checks her bags, begins to load the car, pats self on back for cooking five dishes and having a relatively clean kitchen and empty sink.

1:00 p.m.: KB sets out for home.

2:00 p.m.: KB walks in to find the table not set and her grandparents at it, drinking coffee. Dinner won’t be ready for another half hour.

2:15 p.m.: Mom asks, “Why are the green beans two different colors?” Kroger changed their packing process, so there are bright green beans and army green beans. Oops. KB replies, “Uh, to add interest.”

2:30 p.m.: KB finishes making tea, setting table, and she plus her mom and grandparents begin to feast.

3:00 p.m.: Dad and his worker come in, having finished picking cotton. Yay! Mom says “Hola” to worker, and her accent cracks him up. He picks dishes as KB says names and points, as they do not speak the same language.

3:30 p.m.: Bourbon pecan pie time.

4:00 p.m.: Everyone except KB and mom leave. KB goes on epic journey to all country stores in attempt to find newspaper. All are gone. KB stops to see aunt.

6:00 p.m.: Carrot cake time.

7:00 p.m.: Dad comes home. Astonishingly, KB is still hungry. Eats plate of food.

8:00 p.m.: Cap’n comes over. KB collapses at table, exhausted.

9:30 p.m.: Cap’n and KB decide maybe they need to depart on their journeys home.

10:oo p.m.: KB leaves laden with leftovers.

11:00 p.m.: KB finds Mr. B sick in bed. Goes to make him plate of leftovers, realizes she left the turkey and pork at home. You know, the main events. Awesome.

11:30 p.m.: KB begins removing Halloween decorations.

12:00 a.m.: KB realizes she is hungry. This is impossible; it’s freaking Thanksgiving.

12:15 a.m.: KB finds out that leftover onions from green bean casserole make excellent topping for potato soup.

12:30 a.m.: KB writes to-do list for Holiday Open House

12:45 a.m.: KB collapses into bed.


7:30 a.m. Friday: KB awakens, makes Mr. B coffee.

7:35 a.m.: KB goes back to bed.

8:00 a.m.: KB hits snooze.

8:10 a.m.: KB hits snooze.

8:20 a.m.: KB hits snooze.

8:30 a.m.: KB hits snooze.

8:40 a.m.: KB makes oatmeal, drinks coffee, looks at to-do list, shudders.

9:00 a.m.: KB finishes removing fall decor from living room.

9:10 a.m.: KB begins assembling her vintage-styled spiral ornament display.

9:20 a.m.: KB thinks this display stand does not make sense. It was much prettier in the catalogue.

9:30 a.m.: KB still can’t get the stand put together

9:40 a.m.: KB, wasting precious time, contemplates having Mr. B assemble the %&$*ing stand when he gets home.

9:50 a.m.: KB realizes she’s been trying to put the stand into the base upside down.

9:52 a.m.: Stand is assembled. KB is a moron.

10:00 a.m.: KB makes spreads and dips, prepares to make her signature brownies.

10:02 a.m.: For the first time ever, through some fluke, KB is missing an ingredient for her brownies. WTF.

10:10 a.m.: KB takes a deep breath, tells self no one is showing up anyway.

10:11-11:00 a.m.: KB arranges product.

11:-11:15 a.m.: KB finishes horsedoovers.

11:15 a.m.: KB attempts to make herself look like someone who sells cosmetics and skincare.

12:00 p.m.: KB takes Mr. B to pick up his vehicle and sends him on errands.

1:45 p.m.: Mr. B returns with ice, fresh wreath for door, and enough peppermint bark for forty. KB has best boyfriend ever.

2:00 p.m.: Open House begins! KB continues decorating while her first two guests hang out.

2:30 p.m.: Third guest shows up.

3:30 p.m.: Guests leave.

4:00 p.m.: No one shows up.

4:30 p.m.: Still no one.

5:00 p.m.: After eating half the horsedoovers, KB opens the Vinho Verde.

5:15 p.m.: KB has another glass.

5:30 p.m.: This open house thing isn’t so bad, and the wine is terrific!

6:45 p.m.: Half a bottle down! Late friend comes over to help finish it.

7:00 p.m.: KB hates peppermint and chocolate together, and thus cannot figure out why she can’t stop eating the &^%$ing peppermint bark.

So, thus ends my 72 hours of entertaining endeavors. Twas a blast. :-) Thanks for reading my silliness. I’m off to eat another slab of peppermint bark and stop referring to myself in third-person.

One Response

  1. I LOVE that you are just taking down the Halloween decorations. You are my kind of chick.

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