She also told me that a friend of hers had decided to move away and start a new life and wrote to her in a letter (my wording may be off), “When it’s time to move on, the place where you are will tell you.”

My theme this year has been very close to this statement. I’ve told myself and others, whether justifying my own actions or encouraging theirs, “It’s time to stop thinking and to start doing.”

I don’t mean we should launch into endeavors without plans or make foolhardy decisions. What I mean is most of us think far too much and far too long and we let valuable time pass when we could be actively working toward where or what we want to be.

Over this past year, I punched my inner naysayer in the throat long enough to shut her up for awhile. Some of you have read my 30 before 30 and 11 for 2011. You may have noticed that I accomplished barely 1/4 of those items, if even that (I truly haven’t counted). Why?

I sailed on opportunities that presented themselves this year. I turned down very little. Did that make for overcommitment? Yes. Did that get worrisome at times? Certainly. Was it better than if I’d declined? You bet your ass it was.

Now, I did hesitate at times. I did negotiate. I did pull back. I’m not saying anyone should take on every. single. opportunity. offered. That would be ridiculous. One has to make decisions. I cut back on sewing and pole lessons. I put off researching PhD programs. That’s fine. They’ll be here next year, and I hope to be here too.

So, if I didn’t get through my lists, what did I do? I’ll hit the high spots.

April 4 — I joined Weight Watchers, one of the most out-of-character things I’ve done. I hate “diet programs” and generally don’t do well with restricted eating. Eight months later, I’m only 12 pounds down, but it’s been an impressive 12 pounds. I’ve reached a point at which it’s hard to follow the plan due to increasing hunger. However, I told that inner voice that said, “It’s okay that you’ve gained weight” to be quiet, put down the cookie, and got a jump start on fixing the problem. At one point in my life, I weighed close to 200 pounds (I’m 5’6″ with tall hair). When the scale crept up to 165, it was time to go. I did. I’m still going.

May — I got back onstage for the first time in many years. It was exactly what I needed precisely when I needed it. I’ve got a dear friend to thank for pulling me back into it.

June — Mr. B and I took the trip of a lifetime (though I hope we go on fifty more). We traveled across the country in his mighty Tahoe and saw 19 states in 18 days. We camped for three nights in Yellowstone. We saw unbelievable natural sights in Utah and South Dakota. I, without question, wanted to take this trip. However, I had misgivings. I had to silence that little voice that said “You’ll fight if you’re in a car together that long; bad things will happen. That’s a long time to be gone. You shouldn’t buy that much gas.” (My inner voice is often the voice of my neuroses.) It was the best trip I’ve ever taken. I wouldn’t change a thing, and I’d even go as far as to say that it transformed our relationship into something even better than it already was. (Even more surprising: We never fought on the trip.)

July — Mr. B and I drove all night to the last space shuttle launch. It was a moving experience. At one point in my life, I would have said, “Why drive all night for something that may not happen? We don’t have a place to see the launch.” I’m glad I’ve learned to plan less and go more. Mr. B has been a big catalyst for that. I’m thankful.

Also in July, I made (hesitantly) the decision to be editor of Drawl. The now-publisher had to talk me into it, not because I wasn’t interested, but because I was afraid I wouldn’t have the time. I’d finally gotten comfortable at work and backed off my spa business and editing. Luckily for me, she was persistent. I’m thrilled we took the plunge on it; Drawl is truly a labor of love, a creative outlet, and a project with a mission we both believe in.

August & September — New work responsibilities and the magazine’s first issue kept me ridiculously busy.

October — I started working on getting our living space in order. I will defeat this clutterbeast (shut UP, inner voice!) eventually. I also turned 30 and evaluated where I am in my life. Surprisingly, I’m right where I want to be.

November — I traveled to LA for a friend’s wedding. For normal people, this would be cake. For me, it was terrifying. I don’t fly well, I get vertigo on planes, and I’d never traveled alone. Luckily, I have a friend who lives in LA and drove me and lodged me. Even so, the trip was an accomplishment for me. It was also a reminder that I need to touch base with friends from different parts of my life, and I don’t need to let years go by between those touchdowns. (And what is more fabulous than a gay wedding of costumers in Hollywood?!)

December — The month is young. Despite all I have to do, I’m calmer than I’ve ever been. I’m also actively working toward task completion rather than getting overwhelmed and hiding under my desk.

This isn’t a dazzling list of accomplishments to most, but to me, these events have been somewhat life-altering.

I know it’s not the new year yet, and I do not advocate preparing far in advance for holidays; I want to enjoy the here and now while it lasts. However, the holidays are often a time of reflection. What is it you’ve been waiting for? What is it you’ve been talking about?

Whatever it is, start taking steps toward it. If you are unhappy at work, look for a new job. If you don’t like where you live, think about other options. If you’re not doing that thing — whatever it is — that you’ve always wanted to do, that you just know would make you happy, start finding a way to do it. Actually, scratch that. Start doing it, somehow. The place where you are is telling you it’s time to go.

Tell the voice of negativity to take a hike and listen to that other voice, the one that gets drowned out. That’s the voice that tells you to write that letter, to fill out that job application, to actually contact that school you’re looking at, to get involved with a community theater production, to sign up for that dance class you’ve considered.

I’m not advocating walking away from your job with no plan or funds or doing something similarly foolhardy. I’m not telling you to intentionally hurt or anger people. I’m telling you to pursue those goals that require action. You’ve already thought about it for ages.

It’s time to stop thinking about it and start doing it. It’s time to go.

I’ve never been pulled in so many directions. And, I’ve never been happier.

Most of my cooking time has been spent getting recipes ready for Drawl. I adore our fledgling publication and am devoting most of my non-work free time to it. I did have my standard 24-hour Thanksgiving cookathon which was great fun. I had all my usual dishes from last year as well as a new addition of Fall Gratin, which was a hit. I can’t recommend it highly enough. Even the picky and hesitant eaters loved it.

I’m heading into the Christmas season and trying to get excited about it. The temperature just dropped enough for me to think about Christmas and begin to appreciate the twinkling lights appearing nightly in our neighborhood. I’m working on new recipes, both for the magazine and this oft-neglected blog, and I’m very happy to be doing so.

I’ve also been performing once in awhile with a local variety act, the Vaudevillain Revue, and I’ve been heading back to the gym, trying to get myself a bit healthier and stronger so that I can work and play a bit harder.

We’re having houseguests again. We’re staying busy with work.

Life. Is. Grand.

This means lots of greens. Lots and lots and lots of greens. I ate a pound of spring salad mix in three days. While I’m not tired of greens (yet), I am sick of vinaigrette. Red wine, balsamic, you name it. Worn. Out.

I’ve been craving ranch dressing, the Balm of the Redneck. But not the crap you buy at the store. I’ve already suffered through trying to eat salads at work with hideous processed bleu cheese that I bought under hormonal duress.

I wanted to make ranch myself — not from a packet of stuff + sour cream. I had buttermilk in my fridge. I had dried dill. Why not go for it?

I can tell you why. This stuff is crack. No sooner than I whisked it together, I had eaten an entire cucumber, dipping slices in the creamy goodness and tossing them down my gullet. I then ate a salad with a tablespoon of the stuff. Afterward, my belly bloated with veggies, I looked around my kitchen, desperate for one more mostly healthy thing I could put this devil’s work on.

I had bought a pound of green beans at a ridiculously low price. I trimmed them, tossed them with a tiny drizzle of oil, salted them, and roasted them at 425 until they were a little blistered. The dressing is very runny, so I’d just dunk the beans in and shove them into my mouth. The scene was not pretty, but boy was my mouth happy.

By the time all was said and done, I’d eaten all but a quarter cup of the dressing. Proceed with caution, y’all.

Buttermilk Dressing

Note: If you want a thicker dressing, use more sour cream and mayo and hold back on the buttermilk.

2 tablespoons mayonnaise
2 tablespoons reduced-fat sour cream
½ cup lowfat buttermilk
1 tablespoon dried dill (fresh is better, but it’s all I had)
1 tablespoon dried basil (optional, but SO DELICIOUS!)
2 cloves garlic, minced
freshly ground pepper
¼ tsp white vinegar

Whisk all ingredients together. Let set for 30 minutes if you can possibly stand it. Pour on anything edible and green. Bask. Bloat.

The garlic taste will become pronounced overnight, but I think that’s a tremendously good thing. The dressing gets better as it sits.

7 WW P+ for entire recipe

Part of this magic is happening in the kitchen. I spent much of Labor Day weekend cooking up recipes for the magazine, and it went beautifully. Understandably, that led to overindulgence and kitchen fatigue, so following weeks have involved lots of fresh green salads, healthy-ish canned soups, and smoothies.

I was ready to switch up the banana-peanut butter smoothie I’ve had every weekday morning for the last two weeks, so I got out the remainder of my pumpkin from the truffles (!) I made for the magazine. I hadn’t soaked any raw cashews for cream, but figured I’d let the Blendtec handle it. I tossed everything in and ran the blender on the Whole Juice setting to make sure everything got obliterated.

When I opened the blender, I was shocked.

I had pudding. Gorgeous, delicious, pumpkiny custard. The light goo would be perfect in a pie shell (if a bit loose) or a trifle.

As I was in a hurry, I poured in a little more milk, added ice, and hit the smoothie button. It was GLORIOUS.

Tonight, I found myself ravenous with few WW points left. I decided to try the pudding and smoothie again to see if it worked or if it was a fluke. Folks, we have a winner.

A few disclaimers…  I don’t know how other blenders will handle the cashews. Please report back and let me know. Also, my sweet tooth has adjusted a little lately, so this smoothie/pudding is plenty sweet for me. If it’s not sweet enough for you, I recommend adding a teaspoon of maple syrup, or maybe molasses. When I get a major sweets craving, I’ll try this and let you know how it works out.

Give it a whirl.

Vegan Sugar-Free Pumpkin Pudding

½ cup canned pure pumpkin
1.5 cups unsweetened vanilla almond milk
2 tablespoons raw cashews
1 teaspoon vanilla
½ teaspoon pumpkin pie spice
dash cinnamon
dash ginger
dash salt

Blend ingredients on whole juice setting (or until completely smooth and whipped). Taste. Adjust spices and add sweetener if necessary.

*For smoothie: Once you have the pumpkin cream, add another half cup of almond milk and a large handful of ice. Blend on smoothie setting.

5 WW P+

I’ve joked before that I’ve been 30 since I was 8, as a friend once said about me. Strangely, over the last few years, I feel that I’ve gotten younger. Not necessarily less mature, mind you, but just into a younger, happier frame of mind. I’m fine with that.

Now, that said, I made a list of 30 things I wanted to do before I hit 30. Not many of them got crossed off the list, but that’s okay. A large reason I started that list was to motivate myself to live a little more fully, try new things, and push myself a little. I feel that I’ve done that, and I’m tremendously pleased with all I’ve done this year.

However, I also feel like I should go do something utterly ridiculous “while I’m still in my 20s.” Right. This from the woman who is staying home on a Friday night while there’s a freaking music festival downtown she could be attending if she weren’t so tired.

At any rate, rather than focus on what I didn’t accomplish, let me toot my loverly little horn here and think about what I did get done before I turned 30.

1. Ran a business (straight into the ground).
Talk about a learning experience. Some of the best and worst times of my life revolved around that store.

2. Went to college. Survived an atypical undergraduate experience.
Huzzah.

3. Earned my Master’s.
I wish I’d done even more, but I’m still pretty proud that I did that. I hope to one day get my PhD, but not quite yet.

4. Discovered therapy.
Now I just have to find another therapist…

5-10. Started taking care of my body.
In 2006, I lost about 30 pounds, beginning with a stress-induced illness. In 2007, I started working out a little and going back to dance classes. I discovered pole fitness, which changed my ideas about what my body can do as well as my body image. In 2008, I joined a gym. I quit smoking. In 2010, I joined a gym with the mister. I also tried aerial silks and bellydance, which I adore. Since April of 2011, I have lost ten pounds and am at my lowest adult weight. I have a pole in my house now so I can work out even on days I don’t get to the gym (which happens much more than I’d like). I have started taking MELT classes, which make my body feel SO GOOD. I tried yoga for the first time a couple months ago. I have my lazy weeks, but for the most part, I’m staying active.

11. Started paying attention to what I eat.
In 2005, I became a mostly-vegetarian and cut down significantly on dairy. I still swing back and forth between omnivore and vegetarian. In the last two years, I’ve made a conscious effort to cut back on consuming added sugar. This year I’ve worked to curb my wheat consumption as well.

12. Got my dream job.
I’m one of the lucky few who figured out what they wanted to do, trained for it, worked for it, and managed to be doing it before 30. I know I’m lucky. Not a day goes by that I don’t realize how wonderful my job is — even the days that are rough.

13. Learned to sew.
I made a dress! Even more importantly, I was reminded how hard it is for people to learn skills not intuitive to them. This makes me a better teacher.

14. Began traveling.
I’ve now seen half our country’s states. I’m working on overcoming my fear of flying alone, which I have to do by, oh, November.

15. Worked on a publication.
I wanted to be published by 30. My girl A. is helping that happen, not how I planned, but in an even more awesome way. Yay.

16. Figured out what’s important in life.
Hint: It’s not working all the time.

17. Figured out who I am and went back and got myself from where I last left her.
Nuff said.

18. Slowed down on daydreaming and sped up on doing.
I highly recommend it.

19. Worked on overcoming Imposter Syndrome.
I don’t know if I’ll ever totally get over it.

Hmmm… you know, as much as I’m “okay” with aging, I can’t bring myself to make a list of goals for 35 or 40. Once I get comfy with the new decade, we’ll revisit this.

*Addendum: Mr. B was a bit miffed that “meeting, falling in love with and moving in with the man of my dreams” didn’t make the list. I told him I didn’t want to call our relationship an accomplishment, because I don’t believe that a relationship is on the “must have” list or that it should necessarily be a goal. That said, it is one of the best things that has happened (see that — not an accomplishment — a happening). That better, honey?

I’m sure I’ve seen stranger, but this was fresh on my mind.

So, a long while back I posted the ensuing hilarity of checking out the search terms that led people down a dark alleyway to this site, like Google Maps sending Mr. B and I up a one-lane park service road up a mountain in a black SUV that made the locals think we were after their moonshine.

But I digress.

In revisiting the search terms tonight, a few things are the same. Okra fries and figuring out how to keep finger sandwiches moist for a party are still the top concerns of site visitors. Glad I could help. Someone got to my site by googling hoorsedoovers, which warms my soul. Someone else got here by searching for minnercheese. Y’all are my people.

And then there are people I can’t help.

greyhairedgrannies.com: Not only do I shudder to think of what you’re looking for, I don’t know how you got here from there. I mean, I get it. I’m an old lady at heart. But dag, yo.

things that have 23: I have no idea what we were going for here.

train in the gym and then bake cakes and eat: Yes. Come. Hold me.

what do u put on sandwiches for a plattwe: …What?

gaining and losing same two pounds: Come over. I have a workout plan and cake for you.

how much is a pair of jeans in kitschen Malaysia?: I… uh… hm.

how the hell do you make a casserole without cream of soup?: Bechamel, my dear.

interesting things that take eight weeks: That’s very vague for a timeline so specific.

is there purple cake?: Yes.

joe to make green bean casserole: Good for Joe.

sandwiches that look like fingers: I think you are taking your hoorsedoovers far too literally.

…and for these two, I am too late to stop disaster

velveeta cheese finger sandwiches

what happens if you saute ricotta?

In other news, it’s caserol, casseral, casurol, casserole.

If they’re good, biscuits most of the time. I like all kinds — drop biscuits, sweet biscuits, savory biscuits, biscuits and gravy, biscuits and butter whipped with molasses, biscuits and chopped strawberries, biscuits and chocolate gravy… damn.

Cornbread is good and all, but I grew up with my favorite being what Grandma called “lacy” cornbread, spoonfuls of runny cornmeal batter drizzled into a skillet of grease. It would cook up crispy on the outside with lacy, crinkly edges and a soft spot in the middle. If I can’t get that (and where on earth CAN you get that except in my kitchen or my Daddy’s?), I won’t bother.

Now hushpuppies — there’s a conundrum.

In a variety of ways! First off, I like my grits hot and thick (unless I’m sick, then I want them runny). I also never eat instant grits. I do cook quick grits just for expedience, but those creamy delights that take an hour and benefit from half and half are marvelous when I can get my greedy, gritty little paws on them.

Standard prep is salt, pepper, and butter. I also frequently add garlic, hot sauce, and sharp cheddar. If we’re rolling fancy, I’ll cook down some tomatoes or pop a can packed in oil and put some of that on top. I like them with sausage crumbles, eggs, toast, sawmill gravy… I have even, in the dark, with the curtains pulled, eaten them with sugar and cream, and once with molasses. I KNOW! I’m also partial to country ham and redeye gravy when I’m starving or hungover.

My first bite of grits has to be followed by scalding hot fresh coffee. From there, the possibilities are endless.

One thing though — don’t reheat grits! Put them in the fridge, cut them into pieces or rounds, and brown them in a skillet and serve them with a rich tomato sauce.

You’re welcome.